How to improve my Individual vs. Society Essay

1st paragraph: Try to come up with a less cliché thesis and make sure I integrate it with my body paragraphs.

2nd paragraph: I need to add more quotes and expand on Elizabeth and how one should follow the middle path.

3rd paragraph: Needs to be integrated better with the rest of my essay by also including the Bennet's marriage.  Also need to get rid of the background information of Dr. King and go straight into the analysis.

4th paragraph: Need to create one (Possibly about Jane)

Individual vs Society: Intro + Body Paragraph

  Throughout history, man has come together to create societies for the betterment of life.  By creating societies, man has inadvertently created social norms that the people should follow in order to create social stability.  In society today, people are faced with challenges that they can either approach based on their individual motives or by society's norms.  There are both beneficial and detrimental effects that people must face by acting either by individual motives or society's influences.  While people who act based on their individual motives are more likely to end up living a happier life, they must suffer the consequence of being isolated from the majority of society. People who act based on society's influences achieve the opposite result and are more likely to be accepted by society and enjoy a stable lifestyle.  However, these people risk the possibility of not acquiring true happiness.  However, in order for society to function properly, both individuals and people who are dependent of society must coexist.  Individuals shed new light on subjects and create changes by challenging the norms of society.  This leads to change and ultimately forward progression for society.  People who follow the norms of society are also needed so that chaos is avoided and order is maintained in society.   Although I believe that keeping true to oneself and attaining happiness is the most important principle one should follow, people should try to take a middle path, like Jane, and keep their individuality while not being completely isolated from society.

             Marriage is idealized as a harmonious, lasting bond between two lovers.  In Pride and Prejudice, Austen uses miserable marriages such as the Bennett's to show that the idealized concepts associated with marriage is not always present.  Through marriages, Austen is able to reveal whether a character acts upon his/her own interest or by normative pressures of society.  Elizabeth is an example of a character that repeatedly emphasizes the importance of people's individuality and acts based on her own motives.  When faced with a proposal of marriage by Mr. Collins, Elizabeth respectively declines since she wishes to marry for love and happiness, not for social stability/money.  (Mr. Collins quote).  Elizabeth's strong character demonstrates a positive aspect of being an individual, and allows her to pursue her own interests without falling under pressure by the norms of society. This rebellious act was seen as being very unusual during the early 19th century, and people often responded negatively.  As a result, Elizabeth is looked down upon as being rebellious, odd and ultimately disassociated with society, by people in society who regard social customs highly.  (quote about judging peoples character)/(quote about Miss Bingley or Lady Catherine belittling her).  Due to Elizabeth's strong independence, she is labeled as a crazy woman and is tossed aside by society.  Despite this negative affect, without strong, independent women like Elizabeth, women would not have challenged norms that were established in the 19th century and would not have gained the rights they have today.  

          I

Rubric Rankings

A for Alfi - B-/C+
                 Thesis: Lacks development and simply states the two examples the writer is going to talk about                in his body paragraphs.
                  Structure & Style: Repeatedly uses incorrect grammar, and tries to use vocabulary but obviously misuses it.  Has a decent logical flow to it.
                  Sources & Evidence: Does not effectively analyze the quotes and simply places them to reaffirm his statement.

B for Beatrice - B-/B
                 Thesis: Long and confusing, distracts the reader from the main point of the essay
                 Structure & Style: Standard 5 body paragraph compare and contrast essay. Often becomes repetitive by reusing words.  However, the essay is written logically and is solid.
                 Sources & Evidence: Has a solid amount of quotes, however, she sometimes does not fully analyze some of her quotes.

C for Cecilia - B+/A-
                 Thesis: A little unclear, but answers the prompt
                 Structure & Style: The essay flowed logically, and her diction choice was great.
                 Sources & Evidence: The quotes were well placed and analyzed effectively.

Individual vs. Society: Intro Paragraph

Marriage is idealized as a harmonious, lasting bond between two lovers.  In Pride and Prejudice, Austen uses miserable marriages such as the Bennett's to question weather this idealized concept of marriage truly exists in society.  Through marriages, Austen is able to reveal weather a character acts upon his/her own interest, or by normative pressures of society.  There are both beneficial and detrimental effects that people must face by acting either by individual motives or society's influences.  While people who act based on their individual motives are more likely to end up living a happier life, they must suffer the consequence of being isolated from the majority of society. People who act based on society's influences achieve the opposite result and are more likely to be accepted by society and have a stable lifestyle, but they risk the possibility of not acquiring happiness.  Although I believe that keeping true to oneself and attaining happiness is the most important principle one should follow, people should try to take a middle path, like Jane, and keep their individuality while not being completely isolated from society.

Sep 8 Blog: "To His Coy Mistress"

The Speaker of "To His Coy Mistress" tries to use reason to convince his lover to have sex.  The speaker begins his first paragraph with uses of vivd imagery and allusions to describe his endless, idyllic love for his mistress.  In doing so, the speaker attempts to woe his mistress by stating everything he would do with her if time was endless. However, as the speaker moves into his second paragraph he shifts the poem into an exaggerated state of reality by stating that time is very limited and they will soon die.  The speaker uses fear tactic in the second paragraph by creating the imagery of worms eating away at his mistress' purity.  This fear tactic is used to create a sense of urgency in the mistress' mind so she will agree to the speakers demand.  The speaker concludes his argument by stating that the two lovers should seize the day, carpe diem, and viciously make love with one another, since their time on earth is so little.

Sep 7 Blog

The book I would like to read outside of the class this year is "Ender's Game." My older brother recommended the book to me and said it is one of his favorite books.  I have read the blurb in the back of the book and it seems like a very interesting book that can be entertaining since it is movie-like.